fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
