and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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