this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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