you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
