How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
