Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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