where am i from again
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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