I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize