I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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