i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
