It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
