Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
