and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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