just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
