Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i think im in europe. pls send help
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
