Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
