I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My breasts were aching with rage.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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