Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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