I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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