Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
thus making me awesome and them whores
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
