Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
