when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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