shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
