wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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