shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
