My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
