he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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