READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
