seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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