Where is the hickey?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
