Buhtt sex?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
