you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
