Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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