Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
