I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Please don't give away my fajitas
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
