people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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