Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
