I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize