YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
