He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
