She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
