It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
