Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
