Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize