**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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