I CAN MOONWALK!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
