Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
