I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my shit smells like andre
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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