margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
