She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
