I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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