In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
