dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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