office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
