obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bring me that man meat
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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