a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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