Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
