I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
