weddingsv make me drug and hornr
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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