this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
