Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
