If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It was confusing and full of hummus
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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