who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize