we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
