He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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