Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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