i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
